MMMiii!

~ Say it out Loud! ~


Category: Love


Matt’s new phone

Lol. He got a crappy but cheap cellphone for $20, so now he sends me SMS randomly and stuff. Kinda good because for some reason GTalk won’t let him send me messages to my phone.

His voice sounds somewhat different on the phone, i mean compared to Voice chat. It’s pretty cool…. It makes me giggly and shy but at the same time fills me with even more longing and wonder. How does he really sound like? I want to hear his voice for real. I want to be with him. I want to hear his voice when he’s right in front of me.

That aside, i met this cute little girl we call crystal. >_< she’s so wonderful and cute… gaahh so cute. I feel like melting whenever i think of her cuteness. lol. i hope I could meet her for real one day.

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Belated Happy Valentine’s Day!!!

Hehe… I’ve been lazy to blog lately. Ever since my exam last week… lol, i’ve been feeling so exchausted.

I failed that exam. I originally only got 32 points out of 100. Then I kept having some of my answers reconsidered until i got 40 points. XD The passing for that subject is 70 T___T … but then… a third of the class got scores lower than mine. a half around my score … and less than a fourth passed. During the exam, someone hyperventilated then got asthma and was rushed to the hospital …. she got a higher score than me though. lol… but yeah, it was that hard. but when we got the results … some of the answers were ridiculously easy… Some, i thought would be the answer but thought that it’s too easy to be the answer so I wrote down something else… >___< AARGH!!!

Last Thursday, I watched the UP Concert Chorus perform. I really like choral groups. They're so amazing! How could a group of people singing together sing in complete harmony? It's so beautiful to listen to. Today it's going to be the UP Madrigal Singers. I watched them once at CCP... the ticket was 600 php... the most i've ever spent for entertainment!!! I mean.. The most expensive I bought was my mp3 player, and then my domain and webhosting... and then a pair of rubber shoes. lol. I'm going to watch the Madz tonight.. for FREE! I love free stuff. x_x

When I got home last Friday, there was this big box on my top bunk. Pop said it wasn't his. I asked Eelai and Iks and they said it was mine... Flowers, they said, but iks said he couldn't guarantee that it's still fresh because it arrived 6 hours ago .. (when I was at school) ... Then I got excited and ran back to my room and cut open the ties on the box... FLOWERS!! Pretty flowers. Eelai said "There's a card inside!" and started reaching for it but I got it first... ... But then It was from someone else... not from Matt... :( I felt uncomfortable.... ~_~ I told the guy what I thought about it and .. well.. he wasn't persistent so it was all good. He's a good friend and I want to keep him as a friend. :D The flowers were pretty though. I'll post the pictures when I remember to. I kind of felt annoyed at him because he sort of ruined the moment... It was my first time to receive flowers and i kinda hoped it was from matt. oh well. It's just flowers. T_T I felt sad when the roses wilted though.

Saturday Sunday....I kinda don't remember what happened. I think I slept a lot. Matt on gtalk .. lol. we were talking and he let me sleep. hehe... was cool.

Monday.. let's see.... uhh.. nothing happened. XD

Tuesday!!!! I WENT TO THE SCHOOL FAIR! it's a week-long affair... concerts every night from Monday to Saturday, lasting until 3-5 am. :D I watched the Tuesday concert because my HS Classmate and friend's band was gonna play. They played second so there weren't a lot of people yet. Which was just as well, since the sounds went out crappy. I'm not saying they were horrible musicians, but the sound system didn't ... dunno... it wasn't set up properly. Their sounds were trying to overpower each other. I think that's why they get unknown bands to play at first, so they could test run the system. >__< which is unfair. Oh well. I had a great time. I saw Maricar and she was like a kid who's at the carnival for the first time. It was her second time though, her first was Monday night. LOL. she's in 6th year and only attended the fair now. Weirdo. I love her though. I hugged her a lot <3 she's schmexy. I met with Loraine and Maki and Yo later on and had more fun... We left the campus past 2am... hard to get a taxi. there was 5 of us and the taxi driver we got wanted us to pay an exorbitant price. :< oh well.

I talked with Matt when I got home. :D too bad he was sick. Since i was so tired, he let me sleep again. lol. he's always letting me sleep even when we're on voice chat. I hope he won't get mad or tired of me doing that. >_< <3<3<3 he's a darling. I love him so much. Wednesday, we just played Uno and slept about half the day. I had to go to my student's house that afternoon though... only to find out that she'd be home late and couldn't meet with me. >_< That little runt. I love her too though.

Hummmmmm...... I wish I could be with Matt. I want to Take are of him coz he's sick T___T I wish he could be here........

A~ah... nothing I can do about. And I guess, there's nothing he can do about either, not being able to come here ... yet?

Gaaahh... it's kinda fun having a lot of people to talk with, especially on special days like this. the holiday or special day seems to be longer because of the different timezones :D It's great.

Anywayyyyyyyyyyyy.... That's all for now. Maybe I should blog more often. There are a lot of thoughts that i write down on my notebook during class.. lol. I should write them here. Muahaha... hurrah to laziness. x_x

Oh yeah.. I've been watching NANA (Anime) lately too... :D it's cool. Anime about music. It's like Beck but female version. it's on 30+ episodes now though >_< I normally avoid anime with more than 26 episodes…. the less the better. lol. argh.. I’m also watching HYD season 2. gaaahh… i shouldn’t try to fit all this in this post. lol. ja.

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Worries

I thought he was angry .. at me.. He said he was angry and needed to drive around. It was snowing. He gets reckless on the road… I had to go to school… Wasn’t able to stop him. Was worried to death the whole day.

he said he wasn’t angry..  … :) I love him so much.

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Dreams Come True - Winter Song

This song is kinda late though, since this is a Christmas song… but still.. :D

Winter Song
by Dreams Come True

The dusk is gaining ground, lights flicker all around
And as I walk the lonely streets, the snow is falling ever faster
Looking to the sky, I wonder where you are,
The way you came into my life, filling everyday with laughter

Almost blinded by the snowflakes on my face
Despite the chill I feel the warthm of your embrace
Intoxicated now, I stagger like a fool
I feel that surely I could float away…

* I want to show you everything I see, the way I’m feeling
I need to be with you tonight, to hold your arms around me
My love for you in deeper than the deepest snows of winter
The greatest gift I ever had was you.

The sparkling crystal world, this magic winter land,
If I could share it all with you, and make-believe forever after

Like a blanket over everything in sight,
In the hush I hear the silence of the night
The snow has covered all the streets we walked along
I hope you still remember me tonight…

* repeat

Can’t remember feeling this way before
Do you know, do you understand what’s going through my heart
Well the way that I love you, I just hope you feel it too,
Tonight wherever you are…

I want to show you everything I see, the way I’m feeling
I need to be with you tonight, to hold your arms around me
My love for you in deeper than the deepest snows of winter
The greatest gift I ever had was you.
The greatest gift I ever had was you.

This is my song for you…

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Dreams Come True - Sweet Dream (English)

Sweet Dream (English)
by Dreams Come True

We lay like lovers in a warm embrace
Your kisses thrill me like no-one before
Baby, I’m all yours
Livin’ just for you

I can see the moonlight shining through the mist
The moonbeams playing over you and me
I see the light of love
Shining in your eyes

* I’m holding you in my arms
Loving you beneath the stars
I don’t want the night to steal you away

** Hold me close, I want you so
Don’t you know that, baby
Your love has touched my very soul
Can you feel it baby
Never let me go-darlin’
‘Cos we’re so in love
And we can dream on-
Sweet dream.

Your shadow captured in the silent night
I feel your breath-it whispers like a breeze
Baby, please be mine
Till the end of time

* repeat

** repeat
Dreams Come True

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Dreams Come True - Suki (English)

Suki (English)
By Dreams Come True

All my friends
They try everything
To take my mind off of you

I wave them away
Tell them “Thanks anyway”
I laugh, that’s all I can do

Now I know
What is means when they say
It feels like
I have got a hole in my heart

Seems so strange
But it’s true
I laugh, itjust seems so true

* SUKI —

The way home should
Be fresh in my mind
But I can’t remember
Seeing it at all

Thinking of you
I’m thinking of you
Sit on the floor
Roll up into a ball

The sweet sweet songs
The sweet love songs
Float in from
The radio

“Oh, no”
I say to myself
And laugh again

* repeat

Then I knew
These were tears
Falling softly
On my knees

Then I knew
All this time
I’ve wanted to cry
I’ve wanted to cry

Suki Suki Suki
…Suki …Suki …Suki

* repeat

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Blog Post

Goddamned computer restarted before I had the chance of publishing what I was writing… I would write it again, but I don’t really remember exactly what I wrote. I mean, I can’t recreate the moment, haha. I was getting kinda drunk when I was writing it, I guess.

But it’s all for the good, maybe…

I love Matt. If this what’s happening is a test of how much I love Matt, then…. I’m trying my best. I even think I love him even more now.

I love Matt. If this is a test of how strong I could be, and we part ways in the end…. I’ll cross the bridge when I get there. :D At least I know I really loved and loved well.

Oh oh, here’s one I remember. I realized that the guys I “loved” before Matt were the unreachable ones… Ones I know who would never love me back, or even have a future with them. I was most reluctant with Matt, because he was the one who approached me first, and gave me dreams of a future together and love forever. I guess my reluctance was because I knew I would be expecting something like this… this what I’m going through now.

orz. I don’t remember the rest. I know I wrote some pretty heated words and maybe would sound a bit hateful… but I really can’t remember. Oh well….

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State of confusion

Mind says it’s all a goddamned joke.
Heart is defending it.
Mind says I’m a stupid gullible girl for believing.
Heart says I just am in love.
Mind says I’m stupid for loving.
Heart says there’s nothing logical about love.
Mind says I’m bound to get hurt.
Heart says at least I experienced some sort of happiness.
Mind says that happiness wouldn’t last.
Heart says what’s important is this moment.
Mind says stop expecting.
Heart says continue believing.
Mind says I’m stupid.
Heart says that’s life.

x_x

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‘Nite Love

hehe… the way he said it made my insides melt.

I hope this is final. He said it’s definite already.

Jan 13
9:30 am.

:D I hope this time it’s for sure.

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Dread

I feel selfish… I want the plans to push through……

But somehow I’ve been expecting this to happen.

I’m sad now… What I’ve been dreading has actually come true……………
There’s nothing I can do but accept it. I shouldn’t be immature about this. I understand him… But somehow, I want the plans to push through even more so now, so I could hug him tight and share the pain he’s going through now. I want to comfort him so badly, it hurts that I can’t. I want to wipe away his tears, and tell him everything will look better tomorrow, but I can’t. Hell, it might not even be better.

I want to hug him so tight, and tell him I’ll be here for him. I want to be there for him, damnit! >__<

I feel guilty for being selfish and immature. I can't do anything else for now, but wait, and be here for him if he needs me over there.

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