MMMiii!

MiBook (the name of my MacBook) is slow. Very Very slow. I need more RAM, I think, but I don’t know the capacity of this PoJ (Piece of Junk). I can buy 2-1Gb laptop RAM sticks but I’m not really sure if this will be able to take 2Gb of memory. Does anyone know if the old MacBook can use 2Gb?

Here are the specs of this PoJ:

Hardware Overview:

Model Name: MacBook
Model Identifier: MacBook1,1
Processor Name: Intel Core Duo
Processor Speed: 1.83 GHz
Number Of Processors: 1
Total Number Of Cores: 2
L2 Cache (per processor): 2 MB
Memory: 512 MB
Bus Speed: 667 MHz
Boot ROM Version: MB11.0061.B03
SMC Version: 1.4f12
Serial Number: 4H62947ZU9B
Sudden Motion Sensor:
State: Enabled

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I don’t know what exact information I need to provide so that I could determine if this can take 2Gb. If that’s not what is needed to determine it, just let me know.

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The customer just got a tech come over his place and set up his DSL, but the tech did not teach the customer how to go on the internet. The customer is complaining that the tech didn’t teach him how. I asked him to double click on the Internet Explorer icon and then he should be online now (Some customers think that going online means opening Internet Explorer and going offline means closing it or exiting the program).

His page opened to the ISP’s homepage and he said “I don’t need all these advertising bullshit. I see Today’s guide and all these advertisements… I’m paying for FAST ACTION! Not f*ing advertisements!” (The homepage actually has just one ad block)

I explained to the customer that he’s already on the Internet just by opening internet explorer. He said “I WANT TO GO ON THE INTERNET.” I asked him what exactly did he want, then he said he wanted to see Fast Action. That’s what’s he’s paying for. Fast Action.

I guided him to the search bar and asked him to type in there what he wanted … but he said he didn’t want all those advertising b.s. (the text). He said the tech that came over earlier showed him moving pictures. Exasperated, I asked him if it was like movies or videos.

His answer?

“You don’t know anything. Get me your supervisor.”

And of course, I couldn’t deny him that.

I had to put him on hold for about 9 minutes because I couldn’t get an available level 2 tech or supervisor or even a team leader. I kept asking the guy to bear with me and he said he wouldn’t be going anywhere because he was an “80-year-old man stuck in a wheelchair.”

I got desperate and asked if the level 2 tech’s team leader could take my escalation. He pulled out one of his agents who was on lunch and asked me to explain the issue and take the call. I explained… and this nice guy on lunch took my escalation on my station.

It turns out, this “80-year-old man stuck in a wheelchair” wanted pr0n sites and he wanted to go to them now because the children are asleep. He must have been thinking he was finally free and that he was in one of the many fancy las vegas hotels and he could gamble, or get women, or something. I don’t know. The call lasted about an hour and a half because the “80-year-old man stuck in a wheelchair” was also hard of understanding and following instructions. Even the level 2 tech was getting exasperated. (My poor bone wrist rest became a stress bone).

At first he was just guiding the customer to type what he wants in a search engine… in the end, he gave him (spelled out) a specific porn site.

I didn’t know if I would laugh because of the situation, or cry because my Average Handle Time was shot.

*Sigh*

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Sometimes, when customers get disconnected, the solution would just be to powercycle the modem and/or the router. I’m not saying that this is always the case. Like I said already, it’s sometimes. And that’s the first step in trying to re-establish the Internet connection for a network with a router.

I had a customer unplug the power cable of her router once, and it was just so amazing. She lost the cable. She said there were a lot of cables there and she just couldn’t find it. I was utterly amazed that I couldn’t speak for about 10 seconds. I mean, if you’re able to unplug it, you should at least have looked at it, right? I would understand if she unplugged it blindly, but she verified before she unplugged it that it was a thinnish black wire.

I described to her again and again how it looks like. We even tried tracing the cable from the power outlets and power strips. Yes, we tried more than one.

For about 35 minutes, she was trying to look for it. My call lasted 40 minutes. Because within 5 minutes, I had determined that we need to powercycle. Ughh… a pain for my stats.

Some people really do the most unimaginable things.

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I haven’t written lately about my adventures in Technical Support Land. I know. My apologies. I just keep getting pre-occupied with something else. My stories for this post will be somewhat old. I mean, I had these calls more than a month ago, but I just keep forgetting to write about them. But I know that I really wanted to write about them. I even wrote the gist of it on my notebook.

Anyways, I decided that I’ll just have one post for each story so that it won’t be too much of a strain on the eyes. I myself lose interest when seeing a long wordy blog post.

The Military Alphabet

In tech support, most of the time, we have to spell out everything. Down to the dot N for November, E for Echo and T for Tango. One of my customers apparently was a little hard of hearing and spelling and I had to spell everything. When I first spelled out something, he said, “Wow! You know the military alphabet!”

I said, “I’m not quite sure about that. I don’t really know it.”

“But you do!” he said again… I just ignored that last one and continued to spell out stuff for him. And then it came to a point that I said S for Sandy and H for Harry. He kind of angrily interrupted and said it was S for Sierra and H for Hotel.

“I thought you know the military alphabet!”

“I didn’t say I did, Mr Customer. I do apologize. But really, I just use what I can think of.”

=_= Some customers just assume. They make an ASS out of U and ME.

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