MMMiii!

I have a job now, though, I haven’t started. Some things came up, like they wanted to change the contract because they made a mistake.

Last Wednesday, November 21, I accompanied Eelai to StaffRIGHT for her interview, and she told me to bring resumes for myself as well. And so I did and I got myself interviewed as well. Then my interviewer asked if I had plans for the rest of the day, and if possible, I should go straight to this company where they are endorsing me. And so I did, and 5 hours later, I was in. I just needed to go back the next day for other tests which, even if I fail, I will just have to retake.

The next day, I took those other tests and a few hours later, we were discussing the job offer. I said that I wanted to work in Ortigas. Then they told me I would be having a signing bonus if I started immediately and if I would be stationed at Makati, which I readily agreed to despite the distance.

In two days, I was able to accomplish getting my birth certificate, police clearance, applied for NBI clearance, applied for the True Copy of Grades… Health exam (they took blood from me!!!)

Come Monday, 3 hours before I start working, they call me up and tell me that the made a mistake, that the signing bonus was for another account. So I went there and told them I was withdrawing. And then they offered me something new, something better, but still in Makati. Again, I agreed. My start date got moved to next Monday.

When I applied, I wasn’t exactly ready. I didn’t have character references and such. And I wrote down Lori and Karu for references. Today, they called me up asking for more references… I SMS’d some people… Only three replied who agreed. Some of them told me to get my past professors and teachers as character references.

What they don’t understand is… I can’t do that.

My supervising teacher when I was doing my practicum expects me to become a teacher, not a call center agent. Heck, she even told me I shouldn’t be one, that I should be a teacher because I’m great (she said that indirectly). We even discussed it at length, that a lot of teachers become call center agents.

I guess… I’m a little ashamed of myself. I just can’t go to them for this. So I rely on my friends.

And I realize that I don’t really have a lot of friends.

How shameful.

How sad.

I’m ashamed because I should be a teacher, but I’d be whoring myself to stupid foreign companies. I’m going to be “supporting” stupid foreigners who don’t know shit.

But I believe in long-term goals.

If I become a teacher now, I won’t be happy. To all the people I bullshitted about wanting to teach, sorry. I want to teach, but not what I finished. I want to do other things. I want to learn Japanese. I want to teach Tagalog and not English. I want to earn more than what a simple teacher earns.

I may be idealistic, but when you’re broke, you sometimes just have to be practical. In this world, I know I can succeed. If I stay on something I don’t like, would I succeed? Would I be happy?

THIS is the reason I can’t ask my teachers to be my character reference. Because I’m not going to be a teacher. Because I’m not going to do what is expected of me.

I like the ideals, but practicality is much better.

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