MMMiii!

Last Saturday, I went to Dine & Jam, Sarah’s family’s monthly dinner thing. Sometimes I’m a guest, but most of the time, I end up as a part of the crew, like that day. It’s not that I’m stingy. I’m not so tight-fisted either. I just don’t like spending too much. When Sarah’s mom asked if I could help out, I grabbed the chance. After all, that meant not paying, being able to eat more, and taking home food. I just LOVE the food they serve.

So, if I was able to eat all the food I wanted, why am I frustrated?

Every bite I took, I was thinking, “My diet… my diet… my diet….” But did I stop? No! I hardly ever get the chance to eat something that good. Must not waste opportunities! So I ate almost all that was available to eat–though, I still haven’t had the chance at the Crepe–and was able to take home food. However, I felt really guilty the next day that I didn’t finish the cheesecake and the banana cake and the quisches so I gave them to Iks and Eelai.

That wasn’t the only thing I got frustrated with that night.

I was kinda envious that Sarah had the confidence to sing in front of other people. I wish I had too. Heck, even with singing in front of the computer, I still don’t have enough confidence. I know I’m not making a career out of singing, but I want to sing well. :C

Lastly, I was frustrated with the idea of how left-behind I am by my friends. I was being introduced to the people, and we realized that we’ve (the Amigas) known each other for almost ten years. TEN years! We first met each other June of 1997…

Anyway… I was reminded that I was left behind. The three of them were already pursuing their career choices while here I am, still a little unsure of what to do with my life. I’ve got ideas on what I want to do after graduation, but to be honest… I’m still unsure of it. The idea is: after graduation -> work at call center -> earn enough money -> enroll in formal Japanese classes -> work again at a call center -> earn more money -> do masters.

And then what? =( I want to say I should cross the bridge when I get there, but not really. I should seriously start thinking about these things.

*SIIIGH*

I ate noodles (expired as of today. it says Expiry: April 2007) and chocolate (Nestle Crunch… GOOD!)  today. But that’s all I’ve eaten. lol. It’s almost 6pm.

Another frustration is Puffy/Modoki/Kenjo/Brian or whatever the fuck his name is. I’ve been up since 5 am because of him. miu was messaging me wanting to talk to me about it. He was spreading lies about me again. I need a separate post to talk about him alone. Lol. But for a summary, he’s a pathological liar, who lies to gain sympathy from others. One lie after another. And he makes up stories about people. It’s nasty. He even threatened me with his ircop power on Rizon. May he die. =/

I’m glad the people who know me don’t believe the shit he’s spouting. If that happens, I’d really get hurt. Now, I’m just angry.

When I was kinda dating him (yeah online, in case you’re wondering) , he wanted to keep us a secret from the online communities we were in. Now, suddenly I’m the bad ex-girlfriend. …

gaahh.. that’s for another post.

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