MMMiii!

I met with Liz last night. I wore pretty clothes–the white top I wore at Ah-chi’s wedding, the slacks Eelai and Iks got for me, my new shoes. The shoes are leather and 3 inches high. I got it at a discount. It was the style I really wanted… I got it for my practicum. I can’t wear sneakers when I start doing student-teaching.

By the time I left the house and waiting for a jeep, my feet were hurting. I took a taxi. The traffic was hellish.

Waited for Liz for around 30 minutes. Nothing new. One time I waited for her for 2 hours. I’m used to it.

We walked around National Bookstore and she bought Teaching stuff like Lesson Plan notebooks, Class Record books, pens and pencils and whiteboard markers and so on. I got this whiteboard eraser that had a magnet inside because it was pretty cool.

We ate dinner at Pho Viet noodle house something blah at The Block. I paid 1/3 of the bill. orz. Not that I mind. We finished at 9pm… No time to go to the department store and buy what I had originally intended to buy so I’m going again later. I need to go to school anyway.

During dinner, Papa told me not to come home yet because it was flooded… Streets get impassable when it floods at my place. What’s worse, the water enters the house and the rooms…

Since I couldn’t go home yet, I went to watch a movie. I rang Iks because Papa said he was at the mall too… but he didn’t pick up. I assumed he was home because he hardly picks up calls when he’s at home. I thought he wouldn’t be at the arcades until closing. I learned later on that he waited for me until 10pm. >_<

Watching a movie in the theater alone is … lonely. It’s sad. It’s pathetic.

I walked out to the entrance and I wanted to cry. My feet were hurting. I wanted to cry. I wanted to take them off and walk barefoot, since not a lot of people were around anyway. But I still do have my pride. Besides, I just put in my head, “this is training. it’s good that this won’t happen when I’m doing practicum already.”

I took a taxi home.

I got home… my floor was …. *sigh* it was a lil muddy and still had some water… still had to clean up… electricity was off in my room (I have a different line for ceiling lights and others because we have 2 electricity lines). I told Pa that it was off. He told me he didn’t unplug anything and that I shouldn’t use the computer yet.

What the fuck?

I snapped.

I got angry.

I wanted to swear and scream at Papa.

I wanted to shout at him and tell him that I never wanted to go back to this house. I never agreed on coming back.

Why would I want to come back to this place when I already got kicked out from here?
Why would I want to come back to this place where it flooded every time there was a storm and would have to clean up afterwards?
Why would I want to come back to this place where the roof leaks?
Why would I want to come back to this place where I’ve got useless cousins who just annoy me like hell?
Why would I want to come back to this place where the term “family” is brought on to a different meaning?

Why, Why would I even want to come back here?

And then Matt messages me and asks where I was when I sent him messages about my whereabouts. I got pissed. I said some harsh words….

But after all is said and done, he didn’t let go of me… We talked.. or more like, he talked, and I listened until I fell asleep.

I’m okay now.

If you enjoyed this post, make sure you subscribe to my RSS feed!