MMMiii!

Ok Ok… i used some of the loan money >_< and i don't have a way to pay it back. i'm waiting for my brother to start his job so i could borrow from him. so much for planning to be the one to make him study... it turns out he'll be the one paying for my fees. *sigh*

so just right now mikey just asked me what’s new. well, i inquired about shifting and guess what? they told me that they’ll be taking the GWA (general weighted average) and not the CWA (Course-related weighted average) if it was computed CWA i might still have a chance. i have 2.19 (tho i need a flat 2) but if GWA is to be computed, i actually have a failing gwa.. 3.0something.. and above 3.0 is a F. aaarghh.. Tony Sensei suggested i go non-Major for a year… and take Ling subjects… waaaaaaahhh…. It HURTS.. lol

Anyway… nalaman ko rin na hindi dapat ako nagbabasa ng BLAG! ng iba. (alam niyo na yun, ayoko sabihin sa ingles) kasi nasasaktan lang pala ako pag may nalaman ako na hindi ko pala dapat malaman. pero, sa totoo lang.. medyo hindi na ko nasasaktan. mas nasaktan pa nga ako sa napakaliit na argument namin ni gago eh…

Hehe.. anyway, about Gago, He sent me SMS THRICE!!! can u imagine that?? it’s like a miracle. but i didn’t have enough credit to reply to him on the 2nd and 3rd message. lol. *sigh*

Mikey is sad. He said his bday is in two weeks (as if i didn’t know) and actually, his card is ready to be sent. i just don’t have the money to send it lol. (but i will, soon.. really really soon, since i’ll be getting my allowance for next week…) Blah.. lol, i really wanna tell him that i’m sending him one so he won’t be sad anymore, but that would ruin the surprise. ne ne ne?

Heh.. i’m intent on making other people happy when i can’t. it’s ironic. so.. i’ll smile my day through. I can’t always be sad when i feel like it. that’s why there are called moments of loneliness… so u could have time to be sad. blah blah…

I’m dedicating this song to me again. :P hmm… i’m looking through my old blogs… XD actually, i’m looking for a poem..

Blue

.:misanthrope:.

why do i insist in smiling…

why do i insist in laughing…

I’m showing these expressions..

when deep inside i’m crying..

when deep inside i’m dying..

I’m trying to hide these frustrations..

hiding the fact that i’m in pain..

hiding the fact that i’m insane..

I’m stupidly crazy for loving you..

and i’m not getting any happier..

and i’m not getting less lonelier..

I’m forever going to be blue..

—-

How Would YOU Take Over the World?

—–

AAAHHH SHIT!!! I found it! i thought I didn’t have a copy anywhere!!

coz there’s this song I wrote before but I don’t have a hard copy anymore. can’t find where i put that piece of scratch paper..

Let me

.:misanthrope:.

Hey, you want me to understand

But you won’t let me

You want me to know you

But you won’t let me

How am I supposed to be there for you

When you won’t even lower your defenses built around you

I wanna break them down, make them crumble into pieces

So I could come to you

I’ve done this before but you stepped away

What am I supposed to do now?

Wanna do it again, but you push me away

What else, What else could I do…

Hey, you want me to comfort you

But you won’t let me

You want me to care

But you won’t let me

What am I supposed to feel for you

When you won’t even lower your defenses built around you

I wanna break them down, make them crumble into pieces

So I could come to you

I’ve done this before but you stepped away

What am I supposed to do now?

Wanna do it again, but you push me away

What else, What else could I do…

<---Instrumental--->

How am I supposed to be there for you

When you won’t even lower your defenses built around you

I wanna break them down, make them crumble into pieces

So I could come to you

I’ve done this before but you stepped away

What am I supposed to do now?

Wanna do it again, but you push me away

What else, What else could I do…

Hey, you want me to love you

But please let me

You want me to show you

But please let me….

——-

your fuck.

What swear word are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

——

Here’s another special song to me.

the throes of denial

s y b a r i t (li’l miao)

convince me to hate you

give me a reason not to fall for you

surprise me by being insensitive

won’t you break my pride in two?

but still you stay

ever perfect

unbelievable as that may seem

and i’m scared

i don’t want this

get out of my head and out of my dreams

when you’re alone,

no one can leave you.

when no one makes you happy,

then no one can make you sad.

it’s not that bad,

believe me, i’m used to the solitude.

so don’t you start…

convince me to hate you

give me a reason not to fall for you

surprise me by being insensitive

won’t you break my pride in two?

but still you stay

ever perfect

unbelievable as that may seem

and i’m scared

i don’t want this

get out of my head and out of my dreams

i don’t want to hear your promises,

tomorrow they’ll be apologies.

i don’t want feel your kisses,

tomorrow you won’t even look at me.

and i’ll be stuck, in yesterdays,

over and over in my mind.

so don’t you start…

convince me to hate you

give me a reason not to fall for you

surprise me by being insensitive

won’t you break my pride in two?

don’t you break my pride in two.

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/sybaritmusic.htm

I suggest Finally Over You and This is How it Ends

———–

Here’s another one!

Shattered Like

.:Rivermaya:.

You’re the night in my days,

that I fight to keep from coming

you’re the life when I pray, that I feel.

I tried to tame you,

I tried to open your mind.

I tried to save you,

you said it’s just a waste of time

‘cuz you are meant to explode one day

‘cuz you are built that way,

yeah you are built that way.

Chorus:

I delight in my pain,

and I’m shattered like your promises

though I tried to be sane,

I’m just shattered like,

shattered like your promises.

Had you been drinking?

had you been messing up your life?

like you did mine, not long ago.

That’s good for ego,

that’s good for motherfucking ego

like I need it.

Still, while the record company waits

until our song are say it of lack

But i’m too crazy and

i’m too weak and I’m too busy

remembering how to smile

and how to be happy.

Repeat Chorus

I delight in my pain,

and I’m shattered like your promises

though I tried to be sane,

I’m just shattered like,

shattered like.

I’m just shattered, shattered, shattered…(3X)

————— ‘Nuff said.

Another poem that i don’t have a copy of…

The Pretender

-misanthrope-

For the times when I seemed strong

I was only pretending

I was pretending that I can handle anything

That nothing can stop me

That I can do anything

But deep inside I’m a weakling

Deep inside I’m always down on my knees

Even if outside, I’m always up on my feet

For the times when I seemed so happy

I was only pretending

I was pretending that I can smile

That nothing can hurt me

That I can face anything

But deep inside I’m crying

Deep inside I’m always huddled in a corner

Even if outside, I’m always laughing

For the times when I seemed alive

I was only pretending

I was pretending that I am full of life

That nothing can kill me

That I can be anything

But deep inside I’m dying

Deep inside I’m always afraid of everyone

Even if outside, I’m always radiant

For the times when I seem to hate you

I was only pretending

I was pretending that I am mad at you

That nothing you ever do is right

That you can’t be how I want you to be

But deep inside you are all I want

Deep inside I’m always wishing you’d love me back

Even if outside, I don’t show how much I do.

022122122003

——

Don’t (It Isn’t True)

.:misanthrope:.

I

Don’t be fooled by a lie

Don’t let yourself get carried away

My lies are easy to believe

But you should know that I can’t stay

C1

Don’t be fooled by what you hear

Don’t believe everything I say

My words are only words

I’m not who you thought I am in any way

II

Don’t be fooled by a joke

Don’t let my sweet smile mislead you

I speak of the rainbows and the starts

But you should know that nothing’s true

C2

Don’t be fooled by what you see

Don’t believe everything I do

My actions are just actions

I’m not who you thought you knew

Instrumental

C1, C2

Don’t be fooled by me

Don’t let my pretty lies deceive you

Stop seeing me through kind eyes

Believe what I can’t say

Believe what I can’t do

Don’t be fooled by me

Don’t let this mask I wear deceive you

Stop seeing me as an angel

Believe what isn’t seen

Don’t believe what isn’t true

Don’t be fooled by me

I’ve fooled myself so much

I don’t know what is real

Don’t be fooled by me

I’ve fooled a lot so much

They don’t know how I feel

Don’t be fooled by me

—-

A Poet’s Lament

The feeling of loneliness is yet to ease for my mind is in chaos and fear eats at my heart. I call out to whatever gods to listen to my please… my cries of helplessness and confusion… But none would listen.. None would turn their ear and hear me out. None would listen!

Anger is eating up my body and cautious souls keep me up on my feet… But none would care… None would give a damn if I fell to the pits of hell. None would care!

I call out to a love that can never be mine. I call out to a happiness that could never go with rhyme. I call out to a peace of mind that could never beat in time. I call out to Darkness to take me in its womb of light as I fly to the sky and bid my imaginary friends goodbye. Peace would soon be mine and in the end I will shine. I will win in the end and glory shall be mine…

But it seems that fate hates me… Even the Holy Darkness does not want me.. I’ll probably die in misery…

214020012004misanthrope

——

Another song. lol. Papa bought a pirated CD coz there’s this song by Bayani Agbayani.. Alam kong hindi ako, Okay lang. BUt I like this song best.

Stop, Think

.:Aliya Parcs:.

here we go again falling in love again

falling in love all over

we though we’ve seen the end

thought it was over then

but the feeling’s back and we’re starting over

hanging conversation, silly accusations

we never made it through cos me and you

we never had a chance… and now we’re taking another

stop think wait a minute is it love that we really feel

we’ve been hurting bad we’ve been hurt before

don’t you fall until we know for sure

stop think wait a minte is it love that we really feel

we’ve been there before we’ve been through that door

don’t you fall until we know for sure

here we go again taking a chance again

finding ourselves together

falling in love again losing it all again

watching the world go by as we’re starting over

—-

playing the fool together playing the game too long

thought we were wising up but we’re starting over

and i don’t care if we’re wrong

——-at first i thought … haha.. thoughts lead to sadness.

Here’s Bayani’s Song. i’ll do translation soon.

Okey lang,kaya ko

by: Bayani Agbayani

(Bayani may sasabihin sana ako sa iyo)

Alam kong di ako ang nasa isip mo

Pag hinahalikan mo ako

(George puro George si Bayani ako)

Damangdama na siya parin ang iyong mahal

Nagtatanga-tangahan lang ako

Okey lang handa akong lokohin ang sarili ko

At sabihing ako ang mahal mo

Okay lang, handa akong gaguhin ang sarili ko

Huwag ka lang mawala sa piling ko

(Dahil mahal na mahal kita alam ko namang di ako eh,

Niyayakap mo ako sabi mo payat ako,

Eh chubby ako, chubbynge ang katawan ko)

Alam ko di ako ang nasa isip mo

Pag niyayakap mo ako

Dinig ko sa bibig mo ang pangalan niya

Nagbibingi-bingihan lang ako

Okey lang, kaya kong itago sa sarili ko

Ang sakit na nararamdaman ko

Okey lang handa akong mangusap para sa iyo

Huwag ka lang mawala sa piling ko

(Lahat na lang ginusto ko iba ang gusto

mahalin mo, iba ang mahal , okey lang,

Eh mas guwapo naman talaga sayo,

Teka bat ka ba dakdak ng dakdak diyan me sasabihin nga ako eh

Bayani buntis ako, kaya lang di ikaw ang ama, Okey lang?)

Okey lang handa akong lokohin ang sarili ko

At sabihing ako ang mahal mo

Okay lang, handa akong gaguhin ang sarili ko

Huwag ka lang mawala sa piling ko

Okey lang handa akong lokohin ang sarili ko

At sabihing ako ang mahal mo

Okay lang, handa akong gaguhin ang sarili ko

Huwag ka lang mawala sa piling ko

OK….. Blah. So i skipped class again to blog. lol…

heh.. life sucks… everyday i’m wishing… that… :P

blah. blah.

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