MMMiii!

Ok Ok… I went to school today because i needed some papers for shifting. I was going to request a Permit to Transfer and a Clearance thing… and surprise!!!! I need to apply for it AFTER I get accepted to the college I’m applying in. i wasted 30 minutes waiting coz i arrived at 12:55 and the office opened at 1:25 >_< talk about being on time.

Anyway, here at the cafe, there’s this woman who wants to chat (with webcam) and she wants me to teach her… at MY time. duh. as if i’m not a paying customer too. as if she’ll pay for MY time. I mean, here i am looking for a job etc…. anyway, she keeps on saying out loud that if she were such a genius with computers she’d teach everyone who’s jurassic. heh. talk about saving the world. anyway, she got a shopkeeper teach her. duh.

mm… I wrote a new poem/song last night. (or this morning, whatever). I’m still trying to fix the chords but the tune is ok already.

hmm.. ok. this song isn’t dedicated to anybody. the tune’s just been playing on my mind over and over and i had a first line coming.

….

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NO UPDATES FOR ME.

There’s nothing much happening. hmm… yeah, the highlight of the week is the La Salle Scandal cd resurfaced. and yeah, i watched it. and yeah, it’s not so good as like people day. I’ve watched a lot of better ones. But the point here is, it’s back and i can return it and have a good conscience.

NO job too. There was this work supposedly to have been lined up for me because i needed one. it was an encoding job for Sonny Belmonte… my brother brought his resume and mine and my other brother’s but… the person accepting the resumes said that siblings aren’t allowed and since he was the one there, why not he be the one to apply. and then he got the job. and then there’s this other job, tech support thing, which he got too. my parents told him to talk to the encoding job people to exchange me with him. but nooooooooooo he’s so selfish. he got the tech support job and dropped the encoding job. that encoding job could have been 20K for six weeks!!!!! damnit. i’m just annoyed….. I could have been earning right now. i could have been not being bored out of my brains… but nooooo he’s too selfish. annoyingly selfish. and earlier this day, he accompanied my cousin and his girlfriend to this jobs db thing… >_< i'm ... fucked. well, fuck him. i hate him. if he doesn't give me money when he starts earning, it's gonna be war. and i mean it. he knows how it was when i declared war some years ago.

awww.. goddamnit.

Anyway, Loraine passed this subject she was so worried about failing. She passed the removal exam, thank God. She’s been crying about it too much. literally, crying about it. i can’t take it. her pain is mine too. i mean, i know how she feels…..

Let’s see… what else…. it’s almost a week. Blogger got fucked. it wouldn’t let me change the .com to .org. but now it’s fixed. i was able to tell puls about the url change.

Hmm.. i heard a different version of Perfect by Simple Plan today. like it was acoustic until about the coda i think.

waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh…..

*sigh* …

Sheila’s in Bicol… got no one to talk to on the phone.. ;_; ….

One of these days i’m gonna bug NAGI

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Hmmm…. Blah Blah.

*sigh*

Sheila told me that my nick is giving off negative energy (?) I can’t remember what term Sheila used. SO i’m going to use michan

Since i know only of three people who regularly reads this blog, it wouldn’t matter much changing the subdomain name. They can reach me through sheila’s blog anyway.

So much happening in my life… haha

anyway, Lori’s got a big problem. She might fail one subject and she’s terrified about it. I can understand her. It’ll be her first time to fail ever. It’ll be like her whole world with totally crumble when she gets her classcard and she gets a 5 and if she passes? her whole world will go back to normal. All I can do now is to stay by her side whatever happens just like she’s doing with me. i’ve got 13 Fails all in all and she’s still my friend. :P Best friend. Here’s the WoW (Words of Wisdom) from Elizabeth Dumlao: The road to success is always under construction. There could be potholes that will make you trip and fall and when that happens, you must stand up and move on, or take a detour. I took my detour. You won’t.

o di ba maganda XD -_-;

Me and my mother fought tonight coz i wanted to hug her and she doesn’t want me to. i got hurt. i walked out. oh well. life is woe.

UPDATING FRIENDSTER!!! -_-;

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Heh… I tried changing some answers… actually, three times. and this one keeps on coming up. haha… -_-;

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A doctor, an architect, and a computer scientist were arguing about whose profession was the oldest. In the course of their arguments, they got all the way back to the Garden of Eden, whereupon the doctor said, “The medical profession is clearly the oldest, because Eve was made from Adam’s rib, as the story goes, and that was a simply incredible surgical feat.” The architect did not agree. He said, “But if you look at the Garden itself, in the beginning there was chaos and void, and out of that, the Garden and the world were created. So God must have been an architect.” The computer scientist, who had listened to all of this said, “Yes, but where do you think the chaos came from?”

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OK ok… guess what. My Brother IKS has a new GF. My brother JP still has his GF among the others, my baby cousin James has reconciliated with his GF (they’re 16) my cousin Mark has a girlfriend (not really but i think it’ll be them soon) my cousin Charles has a BF (martin, his anime buddy) and me.. what.. i’m.. DATELESS! i’m LOVELESS lol. oh well.

The other song that was on my mind yesterday was… here:

And the translation:

This love of mine

My heart is crying and in agony

But I don’t want him to see it

No matter how much pain i’ve gone through

I don’t want him to know about it

The days that passed by

I’ll never ever forget

How sweet the days of loving

That I thought would never end.

This love of mine

All i got were tears

So to God I pray everyday

That my destiny would change

…

It fits PERFECTLY for me.

The final exam for PI 100 (it’s not Putang Ina 100.. it’s Philippine Institution 100: Life and Works of Rizal) was take home. we’re to write an essay in Filipino about his ideas and the present age. I thought I could finish it in 2 hours, under two hours and guess what?? IT TOOK ME 5 FUCKING HOURS to finish it! ! damnit! i’m broke!

i am NOT going to translate this one but here it is.

~~~~~

Tukuyin at talakayin ang kahalagahan ng mga ideya ni Rizal sa kasalukuyang panahon.

Marami sa mga ideya ni Rizal noong panahon niya ay hanggang ngayon ay mayroong mga mahahalagang papel na ginagampanan sa pang-araw-araw na buhay natin.

Napakaraming ideya ni Rizal tungkol sa edukasyon. Mula sa kahalagahan nito, hanggang kakulangan at sa mga nais niyang magbago sa sistema, hanggang sa magiging kinabukasan ng ating bayan kaugnay nito. Paulit-ulit niyang itinatatak sa isip natin ang kahalagahan ng edukasyon. Ito raw ang magiging daan patungo sa kaginhawaan. Kaya marami siyang puna noon na mapapansin na magpasahanggang ngayon ay medyo katulad rin.

Isa ang pagkahuli natin. Kung noon ay huling huli ang mga itinuturo ng mga Kastila sa atin, ngayon ay hindi naman sa huling huli tayo, ngunit, medyo napag-iiwanan na rin. Isang dahilan ng pagkahuli natin ay hindi lahat ng magagandang mga gamit para sa pag-aaral ay kayang mabili ng mga mag-aaral. Kunyari, mga computers, o internet, o mga high-tech na gamit sa mga kursong inaaral, hindi lahat ay mura para madling mabili, at hindi rin naman kaya ng gobyerno na tustusan ang lahat ng pangangailangan ng mga mag-aaral. Pangalawa, mapapansin na sa mga libro, minsan ay lumang luma na ang ginagamit at hindi na akma sa panahon. Ang ilang libro rin mula sa ibang bansa na sa kanila ay obsolete na ay ginagamit pa rin natin. Pangatlo, kulang ang mga guro. Karamihan ng mga magagaling na guro o mga nakapagtapos ay kadalasang nangingibang bayan dahil sa mas marami at magagandang oportunidad.

Ilan lamang ito sa mga dahilan, pero, ang puna ni Rizal noong panahong iyon ay nag-evolve sa makabagong panahon, na gayunpaman, huli pa rin tayo sa pangkalahatan.

Ang mga guro, ayon kay Rizal, ay dapat nagbibigay ng sigasig sa mga mag-aaral para mag-aral. Kung dati?y namamalo, o napaka-istrikto, ngayon naman, marming mababalita tungkol sa katiwalian, pagkairesponsable, at kung anu-anong balita tungkol sa mga guro. Kunwari, may mga guro na nagbebenta ng kung anu-ano sa mga mag-aral niya. Minsan pa?y Ire-require niya ang mga ito. O kaya, may isang gurong nangmomolestiya ng kanyang mag-aaral. O di kaya, may mga gurong napakawalang kwentang magturo. Paano naman gaganahan ang mga mag-aral? Nakakawalang gana.

Napakaraming aral ni Rizal tungkol sa edukasyon. Siguro dapat higit na pagtuunan ng pansin ang mga aral ni Rizal tungkol sa pagtuturo, at isagawa ang mga ito. Dapat rin ang mga mag-aaral ay pagtuunan nila ng pansin ang pag-aaral. Ngayon, sikat ang mga kabataan pagdating sa mga rally.

Tulad ng sabi ni Rizal, ang edukasyon ang makakapaghatid sa atin ng redempsyon sa kahirapan. Dati ay ninais ni Isagani na magtayo ng paaralan sa wikang Kastila, ngunit sinabi ni Simoun na dapat ang pagsipagan niyang maitaguyod ang paaralan na itinuturo ang sariling wika. Ngayon, pinabalik ng pangulo ang pagtutro sa mga asignatura sa Ingles kasi raw bumaba raw ang ating English Proficiency. Ngayon, makakakita ka ng bata na hindi marunong magtagalog. Kasi Ingles lang ang alam niyang wika. Sa mga private schools, Ingles ang medium of instruction. Maraming kabataan ngayon ang nahihirapan gumawa ng mga essay katulad nito sa tagalog. Nagkalat ang mga conyo. Tapos, kung merong magaling magsalita ng Ingles, siya?y hinahangan. Sabi, Univeral Language ang Ingles. Bakit hindi natin?tayong mga Pilipino?itaguyod ang paggawa natin sa wika natin na kilala sa buong mundo? O kaya, gawin nating Universal Language na rin. Tutal, nagkalat ang mga Pilipino sa buong mundo. Pero, ang ginagawa natin ay yumuyuko tayo sa Ingles at yun ang mas pinagbubutihan. Hindi rin naman masisisi ang mga Pilipino. Wala silang puwang sa mundo kung hindi sila marunong mag-Ingles.

Si Rizal ay ipinanganak na Katoliko at may paniniwalang namatay rin siyang Katoliko. Ngunit, napakarami niyang puna sa pagiging mga relihiyoso ng mga tao. Isa ang paniniwala sa mga milagro. Kaya minsan ay hindi nagtratrabaho ang mga Pilipino o hindi sila nagpapkabuti dahil naniniwala sila sa milagro. Isa ito sa mga dahilang ibinigay ni Rizal kung bakit tamad ang mga Pilipino. Ngayon, marami pa ring Pilipino ang nagpapasa-Diyos ng kanilang kinabukasan. Bago dumating ang mga Kastila ay mayroong mga sariling paniniwala ang mga katutubo. Nung dumating sila, naging mga Kristyano ang mga katutubo. Binatikos ni Rizal ang ilang mga naging kalabasan ng pagiging makaDiyos ng mga tao. Mayroon din namang magandaing naidulot ito. Ngunit parang napakarami ng mali kay Rizal.

Isang dahilan pa ng paghihirap ng mga Pilipino noon ay dahil sa mga Praile. Kung noon ay nakikisawsaw sila sa pagpapatakbo ng pamhalaan, hanggang ngayon ay ganun pa rin. Sabi ni Rizal ay dapat gawin nila ang kani-kanilang mga trabaho. Ngayon, may Presidential Candidate na Religious leader. Hanggang ngayon, parang napakahalaga ng sasabihin ng simbahan tungkol sa pagpapatakbo ng gobyerno. Bakit ba hindi na lang nila gawin ang mga dapat lang nilang gawin? Noon, dapat ang ginagawa nila ay tinuturuan ang mga katutubo ng Wika, ng Katekismo. Pero anong ginawa nila? Ngayon, dapat ang ginagawa ng simbahan ay pinalalaganap ang salita ng Diyos. Ngayon, anong ginagawa nila? Nangunguna sila sa mga rally.

Ang pamahalaan noon, dapat ang ginawa nila ay linangin ang mga katutubo tungo sa sariling pamahalaan. Dapat ay pinaunlad, tinuruan, at sinanay para sa sariling pagpapatakbo ng pamahalaan nila ngunit, dahil sa mga praile at dahil na rin sa mga tiwaling mga pinuno, hindi ito nasunod ng maayos. Kung noon ay mga corrupt ang mga namumuno, hanggang ngayon, corrupt pa rin sila. Sa kakaibang paraan, parang sinabi ni Rizal na pumili tayo ng matinong mga pinuno. Lalo na sa panahon ngayon, panahon ng eleksyon, pakinggan natin si Rizal. Napatunayan niya na sa pamamagitan ng pagsunod ng mga tao sa pinuno nila kaya umunlad ang ilang mga bansa. Matatandaan na pinapag-aralan ni Rizal ang kasaysayan ng mga bansang pinupuntahan niya.

Dapat siguro magbigay ng crash course tungkol sa mga ideya ni Rizal ang mga kandidato para maalala nila kung sakaling nalimutan nila ang mga turo ni Rizal o malaman nila, kung sakaling di nila alam. May papel ang pamahalaan sa katamaran ng mga Pilipino rin. Sa panahon ngayon, ang tunay na tungkulin ng mga politiko ay patakbuhin ng maayos ang bansa, paunlarin, palaguhin, pagyamanin. Hindi magpasikat. Sabi niya, ang pamahalaan ang dapat magdulot ng katahimikan, kaayusan at kaligtasan, para umasenso.

Ang mga Praile ulit? Ano ba ang mga sinumpaan nila? Parang nauuso ang mga paring may asawa?t anak ngayon. Dati ang mga praile. Ngayon ang mga pari. Pinakita ni Rizal ang mga sensitibong mga isyu: Ang moralidad (o imoralidad) ng mga Prayle. Parang uso na ito.

Sinabi ni Rizal na kailangan ng kalinisan ng budhi. Siguro ay para rin ito sa mga politiko ng makabagong panahon. Sabi rin niya, huwag maging mapaghusga. Sa totoo lang, napakasikat ng mga Pilipino sa ibang bansa. Maraming lahi ang galit sa ating lahi. Para raw tayong mga putakti na kahit saan mang sulok ng mundo ay naroon ang mga kalahi natin. Nagiging mapanghusga sila. Bakit? Tayo rin naman ah. Sa ating sariling mga kalahi. Dito mismo sa sarili nating bansa. Kaya hindi dapat tayo nagwawala pag mayroon ulit hate letter tungkol sa mga pinoy na kumalat sa internet. Tungkol naman dito, hindi naman lagi hate mail ang meron. Minsan ito ay mga obserbasyon na sakto, tumatama sa sensitibong mga isyu. Mga katiwalian, mga nakakahiyang statistiko natin, at kung anu-ano pa. Dapat ay tingnan natin ito ng buong dignidad at gawin ang mga dapat gawin para umanda ang tingin nila.

Sinabi rin niya kailangan nating maging mapagpaumanhin, matalino, masipag at matipid, para sa katubusan ng kahirapan. Hanggang ngayon, tama pa rin siya. Hindi rin siya naniniwala sa ?The end justifies the means.? Tulad ng sa FILI, sabi ni Padre Florentino, ?Ang kaluwalhatian ng pagliligtas ay hindi maaaring makamtan ng isang nakatulong sa pagguho ng isang bayan.? Anumang magandang hangarin ay mawawalan ng kabuluhan kung nakapagwasak naman sa pagsaskatuparan ng adhikaing ito. Hindi magiging matmis ang tagumpay kung mayroon namang nawasak. Taliwas ito sa pagkatao ni Simoun sa simula ng nobela, ngunit alam naman nating yung binabalak niya noon. Sa kasalukuyan, maraming nasisira, at hindi rin naman maganda ng kinalabasan.

Ang mga sosyal na aspeto ng mga ideya ni Rizal ay mapapansing patungo ito sa pagbuo ng bansa kaysa sa pang-indibidwal na problema. Una ang tao na mismo. Tapos ang mga nag-impluwensiya sa tao, sunod ang problema sa lahi, ang katuwiran at hustisya, ideyalismo, kahirapan at kayamanan, pagbabago, kabataan, kasaysayan at kaunlaran, at ang kinabukasan. Hanggang ngayon, ito pa rin ang pinroproblema natin.

Ngayon, parang marami sa atin ang nagnanais maging isang kakaibang tao, sa puntong hindi na sila sila. Ibang tao na. Tipong, ginagaya si Britney Spears, o si Christina Aguilera kaya. Nalilimutan natin na noong nabubuhay pa si Rizal, pinaglaban niya ang indibidwalidad niya bilang Pilipino. Ngayon, mas nais natin maging Amerikano o kung ano man. Yung pinaglaban niya sa paaralan niya para maging mas magaling sa mga Kastila ay wala na sa panahong ito.

Kung dati, walang lakas ng loob ang mga Pilipino na magsalita laban sa mga nakatataas, ngayon ay mayroon na. Kung dati, may mentalidad tayong pang-alipin, ngayon, alipin na tayo sa kung saang bayan tayo mapadpad. Naging malaya nga tayo pero nagpapaalipin pa rin. Sa ideyang pang-ibang bansa, sa mga dayuhang mga produkto, sa mga dayuhang mentalidad, dayuhang kultura. Nakakalimutan na natin ang sariling atin.

Ang mga sinabi niya dati, ang pagkawala natin ng pagkakaisa, hanggang ngayon ay wala pa rin. Oo nga?t may mga pangyayari na nagpakita tayo ng pagkakaisa, ngunit, pagkatapos nun, wala na.

Marami? Napakarami pang ideya at ideyolohiya ni Rizal na kung noon ay akmang akma, hanggang ngayon, bagay pa rin. Yung mga puna niya, hanggang ngayon ganun pa rin. Halos wala tayong pinagbago kung tutuusin. Imbis na mga Kastila ang maysakop sa atin, pagnais maging banyaga sa sariling bayan ang umaalipin sa atin. Mga maling pamamaraan, mga katiwalian, at kung anu-ano pa. Mangmang pa rin ang kayraming kabataan. Kung natuloy kaya ang nais ni Rizal, ang mga repormang gusto niyang mangyari, ganito kaya ang lagay ng Pilipinas? O mas malala pa?

~~~~~

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Hahaha… oh man.. I’m getting addicted to this sms tarot thing. it’s amazing. really really amazing.

here’s what I got for today. OH yeah, i skipped all my classes again today.

TAROT WANDS IX DOUBT. Worries, doubting other people’s trustworthiness. There may be a break in an ongoing battle, it is best to assess things carefully before letting them disturb your peace of mind. Some old pain may emerge from the past but this time it is best to sort it out thoroughly. BUT: Strength may seem to evade you. Health fails you. Pain, depression.

How’s that for a reading??? Sheila, balik ka na sa smart para may tarot reading option ka rin!!!! :P :P :P

Hmm.., Sheila told me about lotustarot.com .. i’ll check on that later on..

I decided that I’d rather have an honest stupid, insensitive person than a liar who pretends to be all-knowing and great and sensitive. I’d rather have someone who doesn’t care about me or give a damn about me than someone who pretends to be. *sigh*

Oh FUCK!!! I checked what sheila gave me??

here are the results:

how you feel about yourself now (The Hierophant)

You feel a need for advice or wise council or perhaps spiritual consolation. Someone, or perhaps immediate events, will provide moral and practical guidance. Perhaps you are considering being such a tutor, counsellor or spiritual advisor? You desire the tried and tested traditional values, so when considering your options, this approach will prove wiser than adopting an unconventional novel approach. For example, marriage is more likely to be your desire than a living together situation.

what you most want at this moment (The Hanged Man)

The cards suggest misanthrope, that what you most want at this time is to have it all, why should you have to give something or someone up? Perhaps you feel a victim and that events are not going as planned. Trust that this is a passage from one phase of your life to another. If you are not sure what or who you need to give up, trust that what will be will be, and will ultimately be to your benefit.

your fears (The Star)

You are fearful of the future and rather lacking in self-belief - you are afraid your hopes will be dashed. Well don?t be, this is your wish card - a time of joy and fulfilment. Good health, possibly after a time of illness, and good fortune that will give you a new zest of life. If considering a new love affair, new job or career, or travel, then go for it. You may also receive a gift or gifts!

what is going for you (The Magician)If considering any new enterprise or relationship you will find the self-belief, confidence and ingenuity to make it a success. Perhaps a promotion or pay increase at work, or a strong feeling that if you were to choose to work for yourself, you truly believe you can make it work. Go for it!

what is going against you (Strength)

Your negativity and lack of self control are your real enemies. If you are finding certain addictions in your life are taking a hold, be it smoking or drinking for example, look inward for you hearts true strength and self-belief. Change your attitude and be positive and you will reap great rewards.

outcome (The Chariot)

Conflicts ending in victory! Keep charging ahead this is a time of change, travel and success if you stay committed to achieving your goals. A journey relating to work is imminent and if you?ve had your eye on that new car it will soon be yours.

Your Astrological Court Card

Queen of Pentacles

Astrological Sign: Taurus

Element: Earth

Personality:

practical, persevering, realistic, possessive, needs concrete results and knows how to get them

Most suitable vocations:

sales, finances, negotiating, consulting, leasing, property development

Most suitable lover or partner:

Knight of Cups - Scorpio, Pisces, Cancer

Your Personality Court Card

Queen of Cups

Element: Water

Personality:

sensitive, reflective, warm, vulnerable, loving, romantic, imaginative, talkative

Most suitable vocations:

institution work, self-help organisations, poet, dancer, make-up artist, anything to do with illusion.

Most suitable lover or partner:

Knight of Pentacles ? Capricorn, Virgo, and Taurus

Blah. the last tarot reading wasn’t real.

Here’s the song…. I’m listening to right now…

*sigh* lol I need someone to sing this to me. haha..

Hay… There was another song in my mind earlier…. I just forgot.

Hmm.. last night, i unearthed this tape with the label: Halo-Halo Themes, etc.

It’s got Zorro, Rayearth, Time Quest, Dragon Quest, Romeo no Aoizora (munitng pangarap ni romeo) … oh… i forgot the others!!! Oh yeah, Yaiba and Super Boink among those.. but there was more…

lol. anyway, that’s in side A.. in Side B.. Surprise surprise!!! what did I hear?? recordings of me SINGING!!! singing what?? SINGING CHURCH SONGS!!! lol.. i felt guilty. I was so religous before.. and now?? now what? i’m … great! ?_?

It’s just that… i don’t know what’s stopping me. maybe lazyness. I don’t want to come back to the fold.

As usual, the questionnaires keep on coming at friendster.. :D Hi ate sarah. This one’s from Sarah.

1. WHAT IS YOUR Middle name?

Maglaque

2. WHAT kind of PANTS ARE YOU WEARING?

Khaki Drawstring Pants three sizes larger than me (yeah, it’s so large. It’s my brother’s)

3. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING RITE NOW?

Fall On Me by Moonstar88… pa rin..

4. WHAT ARE THE LAST 4 DIGITS OF YOUR PHONE ?

7589

5. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE?

ginger chicken

6. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE?

gray

7. HOW IS THE WEATHER RIGHT NOW?

dunno. it’s dark and it’s not cold not hot.

8. LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?

SHEILA

9. THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX?

Eyes

10. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT YOU THIS?

Yeah… I love you Ate Sarah. *mwah* *Mwah*

11. HOW ARE YOU TODAY?

Tired. Frustrated. Confused. Down. Sad.. everything negative you could think of. feeling suicidal included.

12. FAVORITE DRINK?

Fruit Juice… (Pineapple, mango, dalandan)

13. FAVORITE ALCOHOLIC DRINK?

Apfel Korn

14. FAVORITE SPORTS?

Bowling! I’m not good at it tho.

15. HAIR COLOR?

Brown -Black

16. EYE COLOR?

Brown-Black

17. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS?

no.

18. SIBLINGS AND THEIR AGES?

John Paul: 23, Iks:22

19. FAVORITE MONTH?

May

20. FAVORITE FOOD?

Pancit Canton… well.. instant noodles…

21. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED?

Brother Bear

22. FAVORITE DAY Of ANY YEAR?

0518

23. ARE YOU TOO SHY TO ASK SOMEONE OUT?

Yeah

24. DO YOU LIKE SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDING.

Happy endings, of course. i HATE scary movies.

25. SUMMER OR WINTER?

No winter here…

26. HUGS OR KISSES?

never been kissed.. so.. hugs. XD

28. CHOCOLATE OR VANILLA?

Vanilla

29. DO YOU WANT YOUR FRIENDS TO WRITE BACK?

I wish, but it doesn’t really matter

30. WHO IS MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND?

Noone. this is a blog for crying out loud.

31. WHO IS LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND?

Noone.

32. WHAT BOOKS ARE YOU READING?

The Brotherhood of the Rose by David Morrell

33. WHAT’S ON YOUR SCREEN SAVER?

XP default

34. FAVORITE BOARD GAME?

Scrabble

35.WHAT DID YOU DO LAST NIGHT?

Watched TV, Read a book, Thinked, talked to Sheila, read a book and slept.

37. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU THINK OF WHEN YOU WAKE UP IN THE MORNING?

“Fuck, another day, same shit.”

38.FAVORITE ALBUM TITLE?

MP3 Collection (LoL)

39. EVER BREAK SOMEONE’S HEART?

None. I’m always the one heartbroken.

40. DO YOU SMOKE?

I don’t want to die yet.

ELABORATE:

cigarrette smoking is dangerous to health <- yeah, that too. but my parents will kill me if i'm caught smoking. they said all of them were enough (mama, papa, kuya and kuya)

41. WHAT IS YOUR WORST QUALITY?

hmm.. scroll up.

42. WHAT IS YOUR BEST QUALITY?

Charming!! XD i dunno…. nothing maybe.

43. HAVE ANY NICKNAMES?

Yeah. .. Beth, Chai, Betchai, Rebecca, Margie, Kang, Bekang, mi, mis, misan, misanthrope, hey, oi, oist, psst, hoy, huy, gago, tanga, sira, lukaluka, bruha, etc.. :P

44. ARE YOU HAPPY?

no! XD

hmm….. Courtesy of friendster, here’s another one. This one’s from Butzy.

1. Favorite breakfast is:

Pancit canton (instant, any brand, preferably local)

2. The movie I’ve watched the most number of times is:

A walk to remember.. for some reason. i went to a local premiere twice and i bought the dvd.

3. Least favorite subject in school:

oh… a lot.. Social Studies I, Economics, Physics II, III, IV, Bio, Chem.etc

4. I spend my leisure time by:

reading, singing, listening to the radio, playing the guitar… thinking.

5. Worst smell:

When i perspire a lot during the day.

6. If I could have any car in the world, what would it be?:

I don’t know.

7. Favorite household chore:

i dont like doing chores… But i’d prefer washing the dishes above all else.

8. When I was a kid, I dreamed of becoming a/n:

Uhh… lessee…. a nun, a teacher, an accountant, Miss Universe, an engineer…

9. Favorite colors:

Green, Blue, Gray, Brown, Black, White.

10. Favorite performers:

Lea Salonga.. forever.

11. When I die, I’d rather be cremated or buried:

Cremated… I dunno.. It’s tradition in my family to be buried.. But, i’d rather be anonymous.

12. If I could repeat college, I’d take up:

i gotta finish my current course first… <- yeah, that. But i'll start with Linguistics given the chance.. or maybe still... ECE.. ;_; It's still my dream course.

13. Three things I can’t leave home without:

Cellphone, Hand Towel, and my bag (with all the other stuff I can’t leave home without)

14. First thing I bought with my first salary:

Never had a job… But the first thing I bought with my stipend when I used to have a scholarship (I Suppose that can be considered a job) was that sports sandals which I used for more than a year… it just got so beaten up when i climbed a mountain using it… twice.

15. I’d like to be remembered as:

someone who existed.

16. If a book was made into a movie, would you still bother buying the book?:

No.

17. Specialty in cooking?:

Instant food.

18.First crush?:

AJ Enciso .. i dunno where he is now. But I have a crush since I was 13.. and he’s still my crush until now. lol.

19.Favorite hangout:

in my room, on my bed

20. Best place to shop?:

SM!!! North/West

21. Do you like to watch plays?:

I don’t usually have the funds to watch plays for pleasure.. just when i have to coz it’s a requirement…. but, yes, I do.

22. Favorite place in the house?:

see #19

23. Best gift you’ve given?:

All the gifts I’ve given are the best!!! -_-;; I mean, all of them were sincere…

24. Weirdest gift you’ve received:

a 24K gold pendant without a necklace when i was 6 years old.

25. Gift that you want to receive at this moment:

Cold Hard Cash would be nice. I’m deep in debt. -_-;

hmmmmmmmmm….

Another one.. And this is from Oliver.

1. IF YOU WERE TO CHOOSE YOUR OWN DEATH, HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO DIE?

anonymous and painless

2. WHAT WOULD BE THE FIRST THING THAT YOU WOULD DO IF U WAKE UP ONE MORNING AND FIND OUT THAT YOU’RE GENDER HAS CHANGED?

go on with my life and go look for a guy.

3. IF YOU WERE GIVEN THE CHANCE TO BECOME INVISIBLE, WHAT WOULD BE THE FIRST THING THAT YOU WOULD DO?

fling myself on a highway full of rushing vehicles

4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CHILDHOOD MEMORY?

feeling loved.

5. WHAT WAS THE VERY FIRST MOVIE THAT YOU SAW?

i Forgot… the movie where the song “If We Hold On Together” ??? or Nausicaa?? Dunno…

6. DO YOU EVER DREAM OF BEING A POLITICIAN?

ew, never

7. WHAT WAS THE WEIRDEST DREAM THAT YOU HAD?

I was mass killing.. Killing everyone in sight. Children, women, old people, everyone, until no one was alive. Another dream was I was being chased and I was killing them all.

8. DO YOU BELIEVE IN GOD?

yes.

9. WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF YOU WERE STUCK IN AN ELEVATOR ALONE FOR AN HOUR?

Sing to myself lol

10. DO YOU BELIEVE THAT FINISHING STUDIES IS THE KEY TO SUCCESS?

Hell, yes.

11. DO YOU ENJOY WATCHING OR LISTENING TO GHOST STORIES?

Fuck, no.

12. HAVE YOU HAD ANY PARANORMAL EXPERIENCES?

Yeah… I felt my soul moving out of my body when I was asleep but I know i was awake.

13. WHAT’S YOUR NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTION?

To not make a new year’s resolution i can’t fulfill.

14. WHAT IS YOUR GREATEST FEAR?

Rejection, Loneliness, Failure.

15. HOMOSEXUALITY.. OK OR NOT OK?

It’s ok.

16. IS IT OKAY FOR YOU TO FLIRT WITH ANOTHER GUY/GIRL THOUGH YOU ALREADY ARE COMMITTED WITH SOMEONE ELSE?

no.

17. WHAT IS YOUR LEAST FAVORITE PLACE IN THE WORLD?

Dunno… wherever there are ghosts.

18. DO YOU HAVE A STAGE FRIGHT?

Before, i didn’t. Now, i do. i’m actually terrorized.

19. HAVE YOU EVER IMAGINED YOURSELF KILLING ANYONE?

Yeah.

20. HAVE YOU EVER STOLE ANYTHING IN YOUR WHOLE LIFE?

Oh yeah. but not as bad as oliver did.

21. DO YOU HAVE ANY CELEBRITY FRIENDS? NAME ALL…

None.

22. HAVE YOU ENGANGED YOURSELF IN ANY BUSINESS BEFORE?

no.

23. ARE YOU COMPUTER LITERATE?

yeah, i like to believe i am.

24. WHAT BORES YOU?

A lot.

25. IF OFFERED A MILLION PESO, WOULD YOU RUN NAKED IN YOUR STREET?

no.

26. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE RIDE AT ENCHANTED KINGDOM?

That flying thing

7. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN CONFINED IN A HOSPITAL? WHY?

Yeah, allergies.

28. ONCE IN YOUR LIFE, DID YOU EVER DREAM OF BECOMING A NUN OR A PRIEST?

yeah.

29. WHAT IS YOUR CURRENT FAVORITE COMMERCIAL?

COKE

30. WHAT IS THE MOST IMPORTANT LESSON THAT YOU’VE LEARNED IN YOUR LIFE?

Life is queer.

31. WATS UR GREATEST DREAM?

- to be rich!

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For Today

General: TAROT XVIII THE MOON stages odd, dream-like events and encounters. This sensitive person has a tendency to plunge into the world of imagination. Powerful dreams that leave you bewildered. Perplexing emotions and relationships. irrationality and fears. Peculiar insights, creative ideas. Under the moon it is however best not to make any contracts, plans or commitments. BUT: The subconscious will be repressed, rationality will be a limitation. Beware of white lies, exaggeration, attempted abuse.

Personal: TAROT XIX THE SUN enlightens, vitalizes, makes everything grow, flourish and prosper. A well-liked and envied person who seems to be one of those who always walk on the sunny side of the street. Joy of life, renewal. New, inspiring relationships. Sponteneity, confidence, social talent. Relationships with family, especially children will be a delight. Studies or other endeavors will be successful. You take pleasure in simple things and phenomena. BUT: Loneliness, lying prostrate in the shadows will continue to trouble you. Things will get more complicated.

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All these were on March 12.

I checked my general Tarot reading with zed:

TAROT XI PRINCESS represents great willpower, remarkable powers of observation and sharp wit. The Princess may be irritating with her endless demands, her candour and sharp ognue but the tendency to bring things forward makes her an excellend colleague and an inspiring partner. BUT: A person who sees things too much in black and white and suspects even her own shadow.

Here’s my personal tarot reading:

TAROT SWORDS III HEARTACHE. Storm of emotions in sight. A painful truth will be revealed. You will encounter a loss or disappointment, even treachery. Unpleasant but inevitable situation may entail high drama involving three people. You must experience, endure and accept your feelings of sorrow. Loss must be accepted as a part of life and a learning process. BUT: Tendency to avoid sorting out a probatic experience or past disappointment.

~~~~~~~~~

ok ok… i thought this was about #1… but with things happening now, i suppose this was for #2..

fuck.

ok ok.. here are the others:

My Horoscope (Taurus)

You may be rather preoccupied with money matters, resenting you can’t afford luxuries.

My Chinese Horoscope (Rat)

On Love: Put a true face on your feelings. Give that someone a reason to believe. In the future, this story could have a happy ending.

On Career: You move yourself away from the sidelines and into the center of the action. Be responsible and your luck will hold in other areas.

On Fortune: Others are looking for the reasons that lead to the answers. It’s more connected than you think.

………………….

SIGH. And now, now what….

I thought he’d have the … decency not to check my folder… i deleted my archives and forgot to delete the main file. -_-;

ANd NOW he’s mad at me, telling me that he trusted me and i broke that trust. HE WASN’T EVEN supposed to know about it. He wasn’t. No one knows about it. Why should HE? and now he calls me obsessed.

WHY SHOULD HE BRING UP THE PAST? It’s PAST for crying out loud… YES I was … … love sick.. or something. BUT i was NOT obsessed. GET THAT IN YOUR MIND. -_-; as if he’ll be reading this. i know he won’t. he’s a lazy… silly.. person.

=/

Yes i am sad. yes i am depressed. and it’s all because of YOU. you mindless person.

ok, if ever it is MY fault, why were you looking through my stuff anyway?? … yeah, indirectly u had the right.. but… i promise, no one knows about it…. no one. ok? like i said in my reply, it is for my personal benefit.

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Ok Ok… i used some of the loan money >_< and i don't have a way to pay it back. i'm waiting for my brother to start his job so i could borrow from him. so much for planning to be the one to make him study... it turns out he'll be the one paying for my fees. *sigh*

so just right now mikey just asked me what’s new. well, i inquired about shifting and guess what? they told me that they’ll be taking the GWA (general weighted average) and not the CWA (Course-related weighted average) if it was computed CWA i might still have a chance. i have 2.19 (tho i need a flat 2) but if GWA is to be computed, i actually have a failing gwa.. 3.0something.. and above 3.0 is a F. aaarghh.. Tony Sensei suggested i go non-Major for a year… and take Ling subjects… waaaaaaahhh…. It HURTS.. lol

Anyway… nalaman ko rin na hindi dapat ako nagbabasa ng BLAG! ng iba. (alam niyo na yun, ayoko sabihin sa ingles) kasi nasasaktan lang pala ako pag may nalaman ako na hindi ko pala dapat malaman. pero, sa totoo lang.. medyo hindi na ko nasasaktan. mas nasaktan pa nga ako sa napakaliit na argument namin ni gago eh…

Hehe.. anyway, about Gago, He sent me SMS THRICE!!! can u imagine that?? it’s like a miracle. but i didn’t have enough credit to reply to him on the 2nd and 3rd message. lol. *sigh*

Mikey is sad. He said his bday is in two weeks (as if i didn’t know) and actually, his card is ready to be sent. i just don’t have the money to send it lol. (but i will, soon.. really really soon, since i’ll be getting my allowance for next week…) Blah.. lol, i really wanna tell him that i’m sending him one so he won’t be sad anymore, but that would ruin the surprise. ne ne ne?

Heh.. i’m intent on making other people happy when i can’t. it’s ironic. so.. i’ll smile my day through. I can’t always be sad when i feel like it. that’s why there are called moments of loneliness… so u could have time to be sad. blah blah…

I’m dedicating this song to me again. :P hmm… i’m looking through my old blogs… XD actually, i’m looking for a poem..

Blue

.:misanthrope:.

why do i insist in smiling…

why do i insist in laughing…

I’m showing these expressions..

when deep inside i’m crying..

when deep inside i’m dying..

I’m trying to hide these frustrations..

hiding the fact that i’m in pain..

hiding the fact that i’m insane..

I’m stupidly crazy for loving you..

and i’m not getting any happier..

and i’m not getting less lonelier..

I’m forever going to be blue..

—-

How Would YOU Take Over the World?

—–

AAAHHH SHIT!!! I found it! i thought I didn’t have a copy anywhere!!

coz there’s this song I wrote before but I don’t have a hard copy anymore. can’t find where i put that piece of scratch paper..

Let me

.:misanthrope:.

Hey, you want me to understand

But you won’t let me

You want me to know you

But you won’t let me

How am I supposed to be there for you

When you won’t even lower your defenses built around you

I wanna break them down, make them crumble into pieces

So I could come to you

I’ve done this before but you stepped away

What am I supposed to do now?

Wanna do it again, but you push me away

What else, What else could I do…

Hey, you want me to comfort you

But you won’t let me

You want me to care

But you won’t let me

What am I supposed to feel for you

When you won’t even lower your defenses built around you

I wanna break them down, make them crumble into pieces

So I could come to you

I’ve done this before but you stepped away

What am I supposed to do now?

Wanna do it again, but you push me away

What else, What else could I do…

<---Instrumental--->

How am I supposed to be there for you

When you won’t even lower your defenses built around you

I wanna break them down, make them crumble into pieces

So I could come to you

I’ve done this before but you stepped away

What am I supposed to do now?

Wanna do it again, but you push me away

What else, What else could I do…

Hey, you want me to love you

But please let me

You want me to show you

But please let me….

——-

your fuck.

What swear word are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

——

Here’s another special song to me.

the throes of denial

s y b a r i t (li’l miao)

convince me to hate you

give me a reason not to fall for you

surprise me by being insensitive

won’t you break my pride in two?

but still you stay

ever perfect

unbelievable as that may seem

and i’m scared

i don’t want this

get out of my head and out of my dreams

when you’re alone,

no one can leave you.

when no one makes you happy,

then no one can make you sad.

it’s not that bad,

believe me, i’m used to the solitude.

so don’t you start…

convince me to hate you

give me a reason not to fall for you

surprise me by being insensitive

won’t you break my pride in two?

but still you stay

ever perfect

unbelievable as that may seem

and i’m scared

i don’t want this

get out of my head and out of my dreams

i don’t want to hear your promises,

tomorrow they’ll be apologies.

i don’t want feel your kisses,

tomorrow you won’t even look at me.

and i’ll be stuck, in yesterdays,

over and over in my mind.

so don’t you start…

convince me to hate you

give me a reason not to fall for you

surprise me by being insensitive

won’t you break my pride in two?

don’t you break my pride in two.

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/sybaritmusic.htm

I suggest Finally Over You and This is How it Ends

———–

Here’s another one!

Shattered Like

.:Rivermaya:.

You’re the night in my days,

that I fight to keep from coming

you’re the life when I pray, that I feel.

I tried to tame you,

I tried to open your mind.

I tried to save you,

you said it’s just a waste of time

‘cuz you are meant to explode one day

‘cuz you are built that way,

yeah you are built that way.

Chorus:

I delight in my pain,

and I’m shattered like your promises

though I tried to be sane,

I’m just shattered like,

shattered like your promises.

Had you been drinking?

had you been messing up your life?

like you did mine, not long ago.

That’s good for ego,

that’s good for motherfucking ego

like I need it.

Still, while the record company waits

until our song are say it of lack

But i’m too crazy and

i’m too weak and I’m too busy

remembering how to smile

and how to be happy.

Repeat Chorus

I delight in my pain,

and I’m shattered like your promises

though I tried to be sane,

I’m just shattered like,

shattered like.

I’m just shattered, shattered, shattered…(3X)

————— ‘Nuff said.

Another poem that i don’t have a copy of…

The Pretender

-misanthrope-

For the times when I seemed strong

I was only pretending

I was pretending that I can handle anything

That nothing can stop me

That I can do anything

But deep inside I’m a weakling

Deep inside I’m always down on my knees

Even if outside, I’m always up on my feet

For the times when I seemed so happy

I was only pretending

I was pretending that I can smile

That nothing can hurt me

That I can face anything

But deep inside I’m crying

Deep inside I’m always huddled in a corner

Even if outside, I’m always laughing

For the times when I seemed alive

I was only pretending

I was pretending that I am full of life

That nothing can kill me

That I can be anything

But deep inside I’m dying

Deep inside I’m always afraid of everyone

Even if outside, I’m always radiant

For the times when I seem to hate you

I was only pretending

I was pretending that I am mad at you

That nothing you ever do is right

That you can’t be how I want you to be

But deep inside you are all I want

Deep inside I’m always wishing you’d love me back

Even if outside, I don’t show how much I do.

022122122003

——

Don’t (It Isn’t True)

.:misanthrope:.

I

Don’t be fooled by a lie

Don’t let yourself get carried away

My lies are easy to believe

But you should know that I can’t stay

C1

Don’t be fooled by what you hear

Don’t believe everything I say

My words are only words

I’m not who you thought I am in any way

II

Don’t be fooled by a joke

Don’t let my sweet smile mislead you

I speak of the rainbows and the starts

But you should know that nothing’s true

C2

Don’t be fooled by what you see

Don’t believe everything I do

My actions are just actions

I’m not who you thought you knew

Instrumental

C1, C2

Don’t be fooled by me

Don’t let my pretty lies deceive you

Stop seeing me through kind eyes

Believe what I can’t say

Believe what I can’t do

Don’t be fooled by me

Don’t let this mask I wear deceive you

Stop seeing me as an angel

Believe what isn’t seen

Don’t believe what isn’t true

Don’t be fooled by me

I’ve fooled myself so much

I don’t know what is real

Don’t be fooled by me

I’ve fooled a lot so much

They don’t know how I feel

Don’t be fooled by me

—-

A Poet’s Lament

The feeling of loneliness is yet to ease for my mind is in chaos and fear eats at my heart. I call out to whatever gods to listen to my please… my cries of helplessness and confusion… But none would listen.. None would turn their ear and hear me out. None would listen!

Anger is eating up my body and cautious souls keep me up on my feet… But none would care… None would give a damn if I fell to the pits of hell. None would care!

I call out to a love that can never be mine. I call out to a happiness that could never go with rhyme. I call out to a peace of mind that could never beat in time. I call out to Darkness to take me in its womb of light as I fly to the sky and bid my imaginary friends goodbye. Peace would soon be mine and in the end I will shine. I will win in the end and glory shall be mine…

But it seems that fate hates me… Even the Holy Darkness does not want me.. I’ll probably die in misery…

214020012004misanthrope

——

Another song. lol. Papa bought a pirated CD coz there’s this song by Bayani Agbayani.. Alam kong hindi ako, Okay lang. BUt I like this song best.

Stop, Think

.:Aliya Parcs:.

here we go again falling in love again

falling in love all over

we though we’ve seen the end

thought it was over then

but the feeling’s back and we’re starting over

hanging conversation, silly accusations

we never made it through cos me and you

we never had a chance… and now we’re taking another

stop think wait a minute is it love that we really feel

we’ve been hurting bad we’ve been hurt before

don’t you fall until we know for sure

stop think wait a minte is it love that we really feel

we’ve been there before we’ve been through that door

don’t you fall until we know for sure

here we go again taking a chance again

finding ourselves together

falling in love again losing it all again

watching the world go by as we’re starting over

—-

playing the fool together playing the game too long

thought we were wising up but we’re starting over

and i don’t care if we’re wrong

——-at first i thought … haha.. thoughts lead to sadness.

Here’s Bayani’s Song. i’ll do translation soon.

Okey lang,kaya ko

by: Bayani Agbayani

(Bayani may sasabihin sana ako sa iyo)

Alam kong di ako ang nasa isip mo

Pag hinahalikan mo ako

(George puro George si Bayani ako)

Damangdama na siya parin ang iyong mahal

Nagtatanga-tangahan lang ako

Okey lang handa akong lokohin ang sarili ko

At sabihing ako ang mahal mo

Okay lang, handa akong gaguhin ang sarili ko

Huwag ka lang mawala sa piling ko

(Dahil mahal na mahal kita alam ko namang di ako eh,

Niyayakap mo ako sabi mo payat ako,

Eh chubby ako, chubbynge ang katawan ko)

Alam ko di ako ang nasa isip mo

Pag niyayakap mo ako

Dinig ko sa bibig mo ang pangalan niya

Nagbibingi-bingihan lang ako

Okey lang, kaya kong itago sa sarili ko

Ang sakit na nararamdaman ko

Okey lang handa akong mangusap para sa iyo

Huwag ka lang mawala sa piling ko

(Lahat na lang ginusto ko iba ang gusto

mahalin mo, iba ang mahal , okey lang,

Eh mas guwapo naman talaga sayo,

Teka bat ka ba dakdak ng dakdak diyan me sasabihin nga ako eh

Bayani buntis ako, kaya lang di ikaw ang ama, Okey lang?)

Okey lang handa akong lokohin ang sarili ko

At sabihing ako ang mahal mo

Okay lang, handa akong gaguhin ang sarili ko

Huwag ka lang mawala sa piling ko

Okey lang handa akong lokohin ang sarili ko

At sabihing ako ang mahal mo

Okay lang, handa akong gaguhin ang sarili ko

Huwag ka lang mawala sa piling ko

OK….. Blah. So i skipped class again to blog. lol…

heh.. life sucks… everyday i’m wishing… that… :P

blah. blah.

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