MMMiii!

When I was more emo in the old days, one quote I really liked was: You don’t understand my words. How can you understand my silence?

Amazingly, there is someone in my life who somehow understands my silent moments, especially when I am undergoing through all the turmoil.

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This is one of my favorite songs of Evanescence.

I remember feeling really lonely at one time, many years ago, and I was listening to this song over and over again for several days. I probably annoyed people at home because of it but somehow I didn’t care.

I wanted to run away from everything and had probably hoped for someone to take me away from it all. Now, I still feel lonely but right now I want to kidnap someone and run away.

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What do I get from building a castle?

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Blah. *itch itch itch*

I hope this doesn’t ruin my vacation

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When the morning begins….
I will be in the next chapter.

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I’m currently (or supposed to be) planning my itinerary for Melbourne to include in my visa application for my Australia visit and while looking for events I might possibly go to, I somehow ended up checking out X Japan again and then ended up watching videos on YouTube.

I remember when I first heard this song – Endless Rain. It was one of the first songs I heard from X Japan. While listening to it, although I couldn’t understand much of the Japanese parts, the English parts were enough to make me teary eyed and tell me what song’s mood was.

I think a lot of X Japan’s songs, especially the ballads, are really depressing. I tend to listen to them more when I’m feeling low like this.

What am I doing here? What am I doing? Although I think I know the answer, everyday I still ask these questions to myself. Watching the MYR vs PHP go down, counting my transportation expenses to and from work everyday, things I need to get done for my application that is not even 100% going to get approved…

Anyway, I found a nice translation of Endless Rain. Whoever translated it, thanks. The video I posted is from the Last Live concert which I think is their best version. The spoken part was skipped :(

I’m walking in the rain,
though everything seems to be hurting me for some reason.
There is only nothing.
Just kill me now … as I roam forever.
Until I can forget your love.

To me sleep is a confusing, narcotic
that only quiets the beating heart.
All my love seems to flow from my body like a heart felt memory.
I keep my love for you to myself.

*Endless rain, fall on my heart In this wounded soul.
Let me forget, all of the hate, all of the sadness,

(Days of joy, days of sadness slowly pass me by.
As I try to hold you, you are vanishing before me.
You’re just an illusion.
When I am awake, my tears have dried in the sands of sleep.
I’m a rose blooming in the desert. )

It’s a dream, I’m in love with you.
Hold me warmly in your arms.
I awake from my dream
I can’t find my way without you

The dream is over.
I can no longer hear the voice of your gentle words.
Floating off tear stained walls.
So awakening in the morning, I’ll move into my dreams …
until I can forget your love.

repeat *

Endless rain, fall on my heart, in this wounded soul.
Let me forget, all of the hate, all of the sadness.
Endless rain, let me stay a memory in your heart.
Let me take in your tears, take in your memories.

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When I was younger and started earning my own money, I started buying stuff because I could afford it. Some were big and expensive like a refrigerator and air conditioner. But mostly small ones, little things like trinkets, toys, cups and other what nots.

I particularly like buying cute cups and plates. But because I don’t really do the dishes, a lot of the time my father breaks them accidentally.

In my family, we don’t try to fix broken plates. We believe that broken plates are like a sign of driving away bad luck, or a removal of something that is causing bad luck.

We usually try to fix cups though.

After my father breaks a cup and glues it back together, I feel that it is more fragile. Sometimes,  even ugly. So I buy a new one. You’d think that after 5 or so cups I’d have learned my lesson and started doing my own dishes,  but no. I did learn though to just not buy anymore cups that are breakable. Or just to use freebies.

That way it won’t feel too sad and painful if or when they break. At least there is that expectation and I know where that cup stands. It is probably my fault. Because I didn’t want to wash the dishes. Maybe I could have avoided having the cups to break.

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My 32gb Micro SD card (Sandisk Ultra Mobile thingie) died a few days ago. It just suddenly stopped working. I tried to put it in other devices to test if it’s just my Samsung Galaxy Note II that was acting funny but it read other SD cards just fine and my Sony Xperia Tipo and Smart Wireless Pro could not read that one. SAD :( I just bought it last November after I got the Note II.

Luckily 2 days before, I backed up all my pictures and deleted them from the card to free up some space. Unluckily, I did not back up my music and videos which I currently don’t have copies of, but at least I could still redownload those.

So because I don’t have music on my phone, I am streaming music from YouTube even more. But since I can’t browse on YouTube and play games at the same time, I’ve been listening on Google Music where I had uploaded some really old recordings.

I stumbled on this collaboration with a friend a few years back when I still recorded a lot of karaoke and covers.

Goin’ Where The Wind Blows

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